Whew!

I know Texas mommies and daddies can breathe a little easier now that the Texas house has taken such decisive action and passed a ban on lewd cheerleading. I mean, there's nothing like a totally redundant and pointless law to make the good citizens of Texas feel as if they are being represented and protected, right (well, some would say that's how we can describe their governor, but I digress).

Newsflash to the Texas house: slutty little girls in too-short skirts with caked on makeup and ho-ed out hair are still going to be two stepping right up to the line of erotica every Friday night all across your glorious state. It's part of football's legacy. I mean, they've been doing that since, forever, haven't they? The problem is, cheerleaders reflect the current society. In the 50s, they wore the long skirts and the saddle shoes, in the seventies, the skirts hit the knee and so on. When I was in school I remember the scandal when the cheerleaders got their first "sun tops"! Oh, the immodesty! They were cheering at football games in August in Tennessee. It wasn't unreasonable to let the poor girls go sleeveless. Cheerleading uniforms continue to evolve because it's big business. FWIW, one of those skimpy little costumes, made of polyester thankyouverymuch, costs well over $100 per girl. The makers aren't stupid.

The dancing evolved, too. It's all about the trends of the times. Cheerleaders want to go out and perform. They want to entertain. They want to look good while they do it. It's not going to take a ridiculous law to change the way that these girls dance, it's going to take a pendulum swing in fad of the day. Unfortunately, acting/talking/looking/dancing like a hooker is part of the cultural norm right now. Humping someone's leg on the dance floor fifteen years ago was enough to get a movie called "Dirty Dancing"...today it would barely even raise an eyebrow at a club. These girls have no shame. When you think it's cute to do pelvic thrusts and booty shakes before a crowd of 10,000, then nothing that the Texas House can do or say is going to change that.

Now, all of that said and done, may I also add that the idea that the cheerleading routines are leading to pregnancy is one of the most ludicrious ones I've heard in a long, long time. Clearly, this was conceived (get it?) by someone who never had even the slightest chance with a cheerleader. I mean, really. She dances, therefore she screws? Puhleaze. First of all, how stereotypically offensive is this? What about the basketball jocks who warm up to music and run around acting like thugs? Doesn't THAT promote the same type of behavior? I mean, who do these legislators think the cheerleaders are out bopping? Second of all, when you break it down percentage-wise, I'd be willing to bet that cheerleaders are no more likely to have sex or get pregnant than the average student. Where did they come up with this "logic". And the idea that the cheerleaders are somehow leading some sort of student orgy at the pep rallies is hysterical. Again, spoken by people who probably never even WENT to a pep rally.

What scares me the most, though, is that some of our nutjob over here in Tennessee are going to get wind of this brilliant idea. Mark my words, if it passes in Texas, we'll have something similar in Tennessee within three years. There are probably some psycho weasely State Reps. halfway in heat drafting up the documents even as I type because we.must.save.the.families.